Leading with Empathy: How One Conversation Saved a Career—and a Life

When you’re in the thick of day-to-day operations, it’s easy to reduce performance issues to metrics, reports, and paperwork. But sometimes, the simplest act of asking “Are you okay?” can not only save a job—it can save a life. If we only see an employee’s shortfalls without investigating what lies beneath, we lose the very heart of what makes a team strong: people who need understanding and support.

In this real life story, a manager wanted to terminate a long-term employee whose performance had plummeted over the past six months. She was arriving late, leaving early, and missing deadlines. But what the manager hadn’t done was document any issues—or even talk to her. He simply assumed it wasn’t his job to show compassion; he thought it was HR’s job to deal with underperformance.

A Wake-Up Call for Workplace Culture

I was only two months into my own role when the manager approached me. He wanted the employee, let’s call her Jane, gone. She’d been a star performer for three years, but now her whole demeanor had changed. It was clear something bigger was at play. When I asked if he’d spoken to Jane about his concerns, he admitted he hadn’t—and that he never saw it as his responsibility (as usual in the HR world, right?). This moment spelled out a glaring cultural problem. Was the solution really just to fire someone who had once brought so much value to the team?

Asking the Right Questions

I brought Jane in to have the conversation that her manager neglected to have, and I asked Jane a simple question: “How are you doing?”

Expecting to be fired, she broke down in tears. She’d been silently navigating a custody battle, financial struggles, and a fight against alcoholism. No one knew any of this, because no one had asked. In that moment, I realized how vital genuine care and empathy are in leadership.

So, instead of fixing a performance issue, we created a plan to help someone who was still invested in the company, but was focused on more important issues within her life.

We started with weekly check-ins, helping Jane access resources and break her tasks into manageable steps. We didn’t just put a Band-Aid on the problem—we dug into the root of it. Jane’s life was spiraling, and her work performance reflected that chaos. By offering real support, we turned a downward spiral into a path toward stability.

The Hidden Burden

A month later, Jane confided that on the day of our conversation, she had been contemplating ending her own life. She felt her manager’s hostility mirrored a larger sense of failure in her personal life. That meeting—where she was sure she’d be terminated—became a turning point. She saw that her employer was willing to extend a hand instead of shutting the door, and that gave her the hope to carry on.

This underscores a critical truth: You never really know what someone’s facing outside of work. If you don’t invest time in understanding the “why” behind performance drops, you could inadvertently push someone over the edge—emotionally and professionally. Not to mention put your company at risk for liability, and even high costs involved in finding a replacement team member.

From Management to Leadership

This experience highlights the difference between simply managing and actually leading. Managers often focus on tasks, deadlines, and output. Leaders see people behind those tasks. By shifting from a purely operational perspective to a human-centered one, you can achieve far more than short-term performance gains—you can transform lives.

When you address the root cause of underperformance (not just the symptoms), you create an environment where employees feel safe to speak up. Communication isn’t just a tool for progress updates; it’s a lifeline for those who might be silently struggling.

Practical Steps to Show You Care

1. Check In Regularly: Consistent one-on-ones or informal chats can uncover issues before they escalate.
2. Ask Open-Ended Questions: Instead of “Why are you late?” try “What’s been going on lately? Anything you need?” They will take their story from there, and if not, it opens the door for you to address the issues head on while maintaining kindness and respect.
3. Offer Resources: Whether it’s financial counseling, mental health services, or flexible scheduling, let employees know what’s available.
4. Follow Up: Don’t make it a one-time conversation. Growth and healing take time and consistent support.

The Ripple Effect of Empathy

By investing in Jane’s well-being, we not only salvaged a valuable employee—we reaffirmed a culture of compassion and understanding. And that culture shapes how teammates interact, how managers approach problems, and even how vendors and customers perceive your business.

In the end, creating a workplace driven by empathy isn’t just altruism; it’s strategic. It fosters loyalty, reduces turnover, and boosts morale. But more importantly, it reaffirms our shared humanity.

Our Shameless Plug

At NevadaHR, our mission is about transforming lives with the power of HR. In Jane’s case, a simple question and a genuine willingness to help changed the trajectory of her entire life—not just her job status. The moral of the story? Don’t be so quick to look for ways to “fix” a performance problem without understanding the person, or even the problem, behind it.

If you’re ready to foster an environment where empathy, clear communication, and real support flourish, we’re here to guide you. Because sometimes, the best leadership move isn’t focusing on what’s wrong—it’s asking how you can help.